As a tender head, I feel everything!!
So a high-speed pressurized showerhead on my crown feels amazing!! The first time, I showered after cutting my hair, the sensation was almost orgasmic.
It was a daily experience I had unconsciously denied myself for years, because I didn’t know my crown was full of pleasure spots.
I soon realized, wash-n-gos, buns and other super loose styles relaxed my hair follicles and celebrated my tender head.
So I began honoring my scalp’s tactile needs more and more.
I love metal rat tail combs, the teeth of a wooden pick, the soft pad of a wave brush and the short plastic bristles of my wet brush.
I also love the sensation of warm oil drizzled on my scalp.
I love getting my temples massaged and parting my hair towards the nape of my neck because it sends chills down my spine.
It also feels super refreshing when soft hands gently maneuver around my crown.
So when people ask, “How to stop being tender headed?”
This question literally breaks my heart.
Getting your hair done shouldn’t hurt. The tenderness is just your body’s way of telling you that the crown you are trying to wear does not fit.
Your head is not the problem. It’s the person doing it. They may not know how to do hair or care for your scalp.
And this person can sometimes be you.
Being heavy-handed is real and sometimes, we ourselves are too rough on our own heads.
The last time I braided my hair, it was so tight, I had an excruciating headache and had to take the braids out within 24 hours of me putting them in. Of course, I wasn’t intentionally trying to harm myself, but the pulling in different directions when forming box braids, cornrows, and french braids are too much for my delicate scalp.
I’m also quite sensitive to tiny hairs being caught or the hairdressers untrimmed nails as they shampoo my hair.
I’ve learned that even hair tools are designed for a specific task, a specific hair type, and a specific area of the head.
You can speak to your doctor, dermatologist, nutritionist, hairstylist, or trichologist to see if an underlying medical condition is the source of your pain.
Here’s a great podcast by a trichologist if you’re interested.
But overall, being tender-headed is a blessing. Instead of focusing on how to reduce pain. Start focusing on what evokes pleasure and only allow gentle spirits you vibe with to touch your crown. And if it’s you yourself who‘s learning to be more gentle, keep trying until you find what works.
Until next time...
Love The Journey,
Our current hair products and tools...
Wet brush (from dollar store)
Set Your Hair Goals!
I truly believe we have the answers to our own problems, so when we write our goals down they later help us self-motivate.
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